Senin, 12 Agustus 2013

How do you fall out of love with someone?

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juliejcc


I am having such a hard time getting over a man who I consider to be my one true love. Could people please give me suggestions or ideas of some of the methods they have used that worked for them to help them fall out of love and move on with their lives after their most painful break ups?


Answer
It's a cliche, but time helps - just filling it in with productive and fun things. You don't have to go out flirting at bars right away, unless that's what you find fun.

What I did was spend time with my friends and family as much as possible. I also talked about how I felt with trusted friends and soon began to feel better (a diary was also very helpful for things I felt I couldn't say). Resting and gentle, fun exercise like a walk somewhere in nature such as a beach (or better yet a holiday) will lift your spirits.

Immediately though, get rid of presents and gifts your ex gave you, and remove photos from online accounts and photo albums. You don't have to destroy photos or gifts, just put them somewhere out of sight. Also, delete their email address, phone number and online friend links from your online accounts if you are not tied to them financially or with children.

If you feel angry because perhaps the relationship ended in a bad way from their side, don't resort to being petty such as sending nasty texts, visiting their house to harass them or their family members, or nasty messages online, or calling in a weird voice or making up reasons to.

This next while should be about showing kindness and grace toward friends and family who care for you, and your own personal growth and change. So the last thing you can do soon or immediately is a shopping trip (if you can), or some pampering at home, combined with some new goals for 2013.

It will take time, but you will emerge a better person for addressing your feelings with grace and kindness. If the man is nasty to you or people close to you, that will help you get over him all the more, showing you that you deserve better, because you're dealing with the same situation in a much better way. As a rough guess, a year for each year you were with him will be how long it takes if you were closely involved.

You can do it!

Why have health care costs increased increased so exponentially in the last thirty or so years?




PaulDrake


I'm looking for a detailed in depth answer and not the usual polemics and talking points. When I was younger I had jobs that did not provide health insurance and was able to incur some costs that would ruin me today , but did not in that time. What exactly has happened to get us into the unfortunate place we find ouselves now?


Answer
It's a combination of things, primarily governmental bad choices and the HANDFUL of large insurers who DOMINATE health care.

A FEW examples of how the government drives up costs:

the laundry list of nonsense states require in order to allow a plan to be sold in their state. There is NO good reason for this. If someone wants a "barebones" plan and the company is solvent, let it be offered, instead of stupidly DEMANDING that chiropractic care be offered, or something else that some people won't want.

When we have government programs (and we have SEVERAL: Medicare, Medicaid, SCHIP, IHS, VA, as well as other programs that allow more income than Medicare, but that's the concept), ALL should do everything possible to reduce costs. Example: the VA logically allows for negotiated prescription med prices, Medicare is prohibited. End result: far more expense for the taxpayer and the patient. ALSO those on Medicare a decade ago who had an HMO version typically got drug coverage that is BETTER than the current idiocy of the "donut hole" that they've all apparently converted to now. Thanks, Uncle Sam.

Freebies for "charity hospitals." Fact is the bulk of hospitals have this designation and are tax-exempt. The idea was that they'd give back the equivalent of their tax pass to the public they are supposed to serve. Fact: the majority fail to do so. See CAGW--Citizens Against GovernmentWaste--also check out specifially IL AG's Madigan's attempt to get them to get on board with that.

AWP BS--AWP is the "Average Wholesale Price" of drugs. It's a fictional story designed to bump up government payment to drug companies.

ERISA shield--most folks with insurance still get it through work. ERISA has been misapplied by the courts and folks with insurance that way can be denied treatment their plan SHOULD cover with impunity. IF they damage the patient, all they can be out in court is what the treatment that was denied would cost. IF they can win the "drag it out" lottery and the patient dies, they can't even be fined! Read Jamie Cort's book "HMOs: Making a Killing."

See the testimony of Meidinger re: the routine bad accounting principles where they get GIFTS that other businesses and certainly PEOPLE would pay tax on and don't: http://www.ftc.gov/reports/healthcare/040723healthcarerpt.pdf

Also government routinely tries to balance their Medicare Ponzi scheme on the backs of doctors--who are stopping taking this bogus system:
http://www.massmed.org/AM/Template.cfm?Section=vs_mar05_top&TEMPLATE=/CM/ContentDisplay.cfm&CONTENTID=11037
"That dark cloud lurking over the shoulder of every Massachusetts physician is Medicare. If Congress does not act, doctors' payments from Medicare will be cut by about 5 percent annually, beginning next year through 2012, creating a financial hailstorm that would wreak havoc with already strained practices.

Cumulatively, the proposed cuts represent a 31 percent reduction in Medicare reimbursement. If the cuts are adjusted for practice-cost inflation, the American Medical Association says Medicare payment rates to physicians in 2013 would be less than half of what they were in 1991."
The media who refuse to report these facts wouldn't take that kind of pay cut OR any pay cut.

Insurers bad faith is quite common. Examples include:

Linda Peeno, MD comes clean about how insurers deny claims to save money, NOT to follow the policy agreement:
http://www.thenationalcoalition.org/DrPeenotestimony.html

more bad faith, esp. with United Health Care:
http://www.newsmax.com/medicine_men/medical_insurance/2008/01/03/61543.html


attempted end runs to make sure they get their excessive demands met by now using flat out predatory lending practices:
http://www.businessweek.com/bwdaily/dnflash/content/nov2007/db20071120_397008.htm

I could go on--I've studied these things for some time now. On the bright side, the current system could be VASTLY improved with some sensible changes, including:

price transparency--no reason why prices can't be posted up front and before the fact. Many expenses are NOT for emergencies and people should be able to shop around and make an INFORMED financial decision, which they are DENIED now, though this is the ONLY industry in which that is allowed. (If you're a car repair shop and you don't follow the law on estimates, not only are you SOL you may not be able to get ONE CENT for work done. You don't see them laughing at the law much in those states on car repair.)

EVERYONE should be required for all non-emergency procedures, to give the patient the bottom line bill. The insurer should be legally required to pay what he says he will BARRING fraud. Any LIKELY procedures should be simarly costed out and locked in. Example: angiogram? Good chance you'll need an angioplasty and the cardiologist might want to do it there and then. Have him do the medical informed consent AND have the bill costed out for JUST the angiogram AND the angioplasty IF needed--takes a lot of pressure off everyone as well. No reason for anyone to object. We all know if a patient codes on the table, there will be additional charges, but that doesn't happen often and as it is a medical emergency, you have to treat it.

Oh and "compassionate entry" is costing us a LOT. The Border Patrol is told specifically to let in illegals who are sick for care they know the taxpayer will have to pay for:
"Dickson emphasizes that not all the free care is going to illegal aliens passing through on their way to other states. About half goes to Mexicans who use the Copper Queen as their personal emergency-care facility. In effect, the hospital, which performs general surgery, has become the trauma center for that stretch of northern Mexico. If an ambulance pulls up to the border-crossing point near Bisbee and announces "compassionate entry," the border patrol waves it through, and the Copper Queen is compelled to treat the patient. It is one more program that Congress mandates but does not pay for. "If you make me treat someone," says Dickson, "then you need to pay me. You can't have unfunded mandates in a small hospital." Although the Medicare drug act that passed last year provides for modest payments to hospitals that treat illegal aliens, Dickson says there is a catch that the U.S. government has yet to figure out. "How do I document an undocumented alien? How am I going to prove I rendered that care? They have no Social Security number, no driver's license.'"
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,995145-7,00.html

Frankly, more can be said, but if you're interested in a PLAN that makes sense (we need to do something with the huge sums we spend on the government programs we ALREADY have millions enrolled in), then here it is and it's being ignored by the pols because there's nothing in it for them apparently. (I found this months ago and sent a good summary and link to the FREE PDF and the federal level ones ignore the hell out of it.) Check it out and see what you think: no increased individual taxes, no mandates for employers, but a funding solution that solves another problem in the system:
http://www.booklocker.com/books/3068.html

Oh and that plan would work because when you get something close to a free market, it DOES work:

Check out LASIK prices over a decade--did they go up 120% like Medicare premiums did (1998: $43.80, 2008 $96.40) or did they drop like a rock? Why did they drop--few third-party payers involved.

Ditto plastic surgery--look at the cost of a "tummy tuck" which is MAJOR abdominal surgery and compare with a MEDICALLY NECESSARY uncomplicated appendectomy if you're uninsured. The appy will bankrupt you in many cases.

Walk-in clinics (Wal-Mart, CVS, grocery stores) be seen in a short time and treated for around $100--from sprains to upper respiratory infections, strep throat, etc.

SimpleCare.org

http://www.azcentral.com/community/gilbert/articles/0217er17.html
The key is it is DOCTOR OWNED and DOCTOR RUN.




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