best wedding gift ideas 2013
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brandi o
are wedding i June 2nd 2013 we are making the invites by hand next week and hopefully sending them out within a few weeks after that (a lot of out of town guests). do you know if we would just be able to register now? or should we waite
Answer
I have to agree with the others here... your invitations do not need to go out for another ten months or so, no matter how many out of town guests you have. Think about it- would you want to RSVP to something happening in a year? So, so, so much could happen in that time- it's a really bad idea, not to mention kind of rude to expect your guests to plan that far in advance. At the very, very, very earliest, send them 10 weeks in advance, but 6-8 is even more ideal.
That being said, save the dates are not totally necessary if you don't have the budget for them, although they are nice since you do have people traveling. Really, that's up to you though. Just please wait on those invites.
As far as registering, most places recommend doing so around a year in advance, although I believe that's too far ahead of time, as nobody will probably be buying gifts that early. I think the soonest you should probably do it is around 6 months before the wedding. That way, when it comes time for people to start buying things, the items will actually still be available. If you register now, there's a chance nothing will still be in the store by the time the wedding rolls around. If you feel you must start your registry early, just keep up on it and make sure everything doesn't go out of stock.
Some of my wedding invitations went out wrong, do I have to resend?
Liz
The actual wedding invitation was fine, but some of the response cards went out with the wrong Reply By date. Some say April 15, 2013, which is correct. However, some say to respond by July 20, 2012. I have no idea how this happened - I made the invitations myself and I'm pretty sure I put them all in the prniter at the same time. Anyway, my fiance thinks we have to send out new cards? There's no way for me to know who got the good ones and who got the bad ones. Do I have to contact every guest? The date is obviously wrong, so maybe it doesn't matter?
Answer
First let me point out the unwisdom of providing any deadline at all. It will only encourage people to dawdle. If a host is asked for a deadline for responses, the reply is "Why, as soon as possible! We're naturally anxious to know who will be attending. Will you know by next week?"
Your solution here is to ditch the little cards. Keep in mind that good manners requires us to acknowledge invitations within 48 hours, and to ASK if we may have some time to respond. "Gordon, thank you for inviting us to your son's wedding. May we have until the end of March to let you know?" The "thank you" part is acknowledgment, is letting you know the invitation was received. The "until the end of March" part is asking for time to respond, time to let hosts know who will be attending.
About 2 weeks after you send invitations, put your helpers to work calling everyone who has not yet acknowledged the invitation. "I'm calling on behalf the hosts for the Oscar Munoz - Alice McNulty wedding. They are wondering whether the invitation sent to your address may have been lost in the mail."
The moment it is established that the invitation was indeed received, your helpers ask "When might the hosts expect your response? Will you know by next week?" Your helpers continue to call each week (or more often) until those invited DO have a response.
Your helpers should be prepared to say things like "There is a misunderstanding. The invitation is for Marge and Homer Simpson, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie. The guest list doesn't include Ned or Milhouse."
These phones calls are the time to deal with the details that didn't belong on your elegant invitations. If people forget to ask, your helpers prompt them. "You're probably wondering how dressed up to get. The hosts are hoping that the gentlemen will wear jackets and ties and that the ladies ..." Ditto for driving directions, what kind of food and drink to expect, reminders to arrive promptly, and so on.
During these conversations, your helpers ask people to please disregard the response cards, as there was a printing error. Do not provide details concerning what the error was. TMI leads to trouble --- consider that if you hadn't provided a deadline, then you wouldn't be in this pickle.
Your helpers shouldn't bring this up, but many people will ask "What sort of gift might the couple appreciate?" The reply should mention something you both like, where you are registered, and that contributions to the honeymoon fund are welcome. That first part -- "they collect antique dental instruments" -- is needed for people who prefer to choose a gift rather than give cash or give from the registry.
Do not be deluded into copying The Wedding Industry model of Bride As Passive Ninny Waiting Helplessly By Mailbox For Cards That Never Arrive. That is a TRICK to deprive hosts of an accurate headcount, so that the caterer will be told "You'd better have 12 extra dinners prepared just in case, since we don't really know who will come." Forget that horse manure and REMIND people that their prompt response is expected.
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